Just a year ago...

I started this thang called Biblio Fashionista as part of a "free writing" exercise for my creative writing group. I'm still going at it and it has helped me knock out ideas (mostly whimsical silliness of my everyday life) quickly without deliberating over a frickin’ sentence for ten hours, and it has occasionally alleviated writers block with my more "serious" creative writing endeavors.

According to tradition (I try to stay away from tradition as much as I can), paper gifts are the traditional gift for a one year anniversary. So, for those of you dedicated blog readers that are just dying to get me a blog anniversary gift, here are some tips to keep in mind when shopping for that “special” gift according to Ms. Manners:

- Think creatively, not literally.
- Think about the person’s taste and style.
- Consider the following paper gifts: engraved stationery, a book, or a scrapbook. Clocks make a nice alternative gift to paper.
- Ms. Manners is a frickin’ nutball!!!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, I will enlighten you with headlines from this past year’s entries (in reverse chronological order). Interestingly, I still get tired from Chinese food, I’m still tortured by the Drooler, I’ve made Hummus (again) for about 40 people, and I still think eating marshmallows will somehow cure my cramps. I guess some things never change.

1. Tired from Chinese food
2. The Drooler
3. Hummus for 80
4. Marshmallows Cures Cramps
5. Toronzo, Chico, Velveeta, Grady and Hoochie Man
6. Dispatches and Dish
7. The Rodent Factor
8. "1983 Key: Evanston Township High School" Vol. XXXIII
9. Glass animals, matches and eating
10. My Bootyless World
11. It's up to the Skipper
12. Uncooked rice grown outside the U.S. is restricted
13. Mohawks and Butt Cracks
14. M is for Milkshake
15. Everything sold in hardware stores
16. Come walk with me pretty unicorn
17. Vegetables are people too
18. Comedy porn
19. I’m a Google Stalker
20. I’ll have a Cambodian non-fat macchiato
21. Mochtest etwas Wagner mit deinem kaffee?
22. Munchkins and Timbits
23. Boiling scum off okra
24. Christmas in Central Wisconsin
25. The New Year in Chicago
26. Davusten Burraris Syndrome
27. Sleazy Motels
28. Fashionable Frostbite
29. Sending a "shout out" to my blog posse
30. Public Appearances
31. Ask Dr. Bibfash
32. Daddy Long Legs
33. Deep Linking
34. To Do
35. Heisse Möse
36. These boots weren’t made for walking
37. 13 Strike Rolls
38. Ken loved buttocks
39. Neurotica
40. Porqué?
41. Conference Survival Guide
42. Getting to the bottom of things
43. The Gimpy Bunny
44. Casting Couch
45. Meerrettich and Deportation
46. Bitchin' Lemons
47. Bad Substitutions
48. Funeral Home Interlude
49. Good Substitutions
50. Who’s your smoke daddy?
51. The Bitter Bean Debate
52. Madonna – The “Vegas Years” Tour

Madonna - The "Vegas Years" Tour

I just got back from a whirlwind trip to Chicago/Stoughton/Madison. The book signing went quite well, and there were about 60 people in attendance. I must say it is really weird to walk into a Barnes and Noble and see a life-size cardboard cutout of your friend. That tripped me out for a good two minutes. It was also fun (and bizarre) to see the cast of characters – J, R, C, T, V, M, K, H, N, other J – from the past. I hadn’t seen some of these people in ten years. We all went out afterward and got rather shitfaced and reminisced about Nazi ballet days, Pinocchio performances, dressing up in bear suits in NYC, and bad relationships. Crazy shit. Of course, A’s apartment was like a fucking cyclone hit it - moldy water glasses filled with cigarette butts, spilled coffee and OJ everywhere, clothes strewn all over, etc. Some things never change. I had to get out of there. And speaking of never changing – V, who has not worked in about 14 years, said that “he’s still looking” for a job after I asked if he was working. I couldn’t help myself. But he’s still living with his 65-year-old high school English teacher that he was banging back in the day. Good grief. How the hell do I meet these people?

Thank god L let me stay at her place, which is spotless and most awesomely decorated. We hung out, pigged out at Tiffin, picked up my beautiful antique Chinese red cabinet and laughed a lot. Her roommate M told us about the Madonna concert he attended, which he referred to as her “Vegas Years” tour. Lots of horse-type disco dancing and flashing men’s torsos. Interesting. Never was a fan of hers.

The Christening was good. Lots to do – shopping, cooking, cleaning, ironing, picking up cakes, dipping child in water, etc. Aside from seeing M, A, J and the kiddies (aka my “godchildren” or grandchildren as I mistakenly referred to them a few times), I got to see C and other C, so that was fun. We’re all originally from Chicago, so we reminisced about Café Espial, Cocktail and the Man Hole. Good times. I even gave the little one her first sip of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Now how cool of a godmother am I?

I saw JD in Madison. He was looking pretty buff and a bit on the scruffy side. He told me that his girlfriend (who is in jail) has a better life than he does at the moment – she’s working at an organic farm, has three meals a day, and a workout room and library access. He’s still looking for a job (seems to be a lot of that going on lately), but he’s gotten some work on the live web cam circuit. Well, if you can make money by wanking your cock for foreigners on the web then I say go for it! The nice thing about web cam work is that you really don’t have to leave your apartment or get dressed for that matter. JD said he even manages to multi-task while doing this – checking email, cleaning, etc. Now that’s talent.

I’m still looking for bad additions. I’ve received close to nothing from anyone except JD. I know a fair number of witty and clever people, so I think you can come up with something. Please?

Thanks for the 6 comment marker on my Bitter Bean Debate entry. That topped the list for the most comments I’ve ever received! Rock on blog posse!!

The Bitter Bean Debate

Many of my friends are lamenting the fact that Starbucks has parked itself in our small town. The location happens to be right down the street from a local drive through coffee house that we all patronize. While some of my friends have even talked about protesting the opening of Starbucks, I’m going to present (somewhat reluctantly) another side of the story.

I used to work at Starbucks in the early 1990s in Oak Park, IL. I got paid $8.00 an hour plus we shared a pool of tips that equaled about $25 a week for my portion. Starbucks provided full health care and dental coverage for part time work (20 hours a week). I was always given a flexible schedule to accommodate school, and all the employees got to take home a pound of coffee a week as part of our compensation. The company also matched employee contributions to local charities (although this has been in the news lately, some organizations have been on the right, but this is the employee’s choice, not Starbucks doing). I also met some incredible people while I worked at Starbucks – several of which I’m still in touch with. This has nothing to do with Starbucks’ business practices, but I have fond memories of some of the fun times we had at the store.

I am not pro nor anti Starbucks (at least as of this writing). Any corporation that takes advantage of or oppresses its workers should be called to the table. Wal-Mart, for example, does not provide benefits for most of its employees. The ripple effect of this gets dumped on individual states (taxpayers) that end up picking up the tab. Wal-Mart also has the volume to offer products at extremely low prices, running the local ma and pa stores out of business; Starbucks products, in contrast, are not as cheap. But this is not a new argument (there are no new arguments in this debate).

There are certainly other issues in the Starbucks debate that should be considered, such as where is the coffee coming from? What about the growers? Is it fair trade? Is Starbucks purposely pinpointing certain demographic/geographic locations for opening stores just to run existing local (or non local) coffee places out of business? Those are legitimate concerns. If Starbucks prices were really low, and endangered running local businesses out of business, then I would certainly think differently about buying my coffee there. I used to tell people that Starbucks paid me well and provided me with insurance, which allowed me to spend my money at the independent coffee shops (and I did). If most people I knew never shopped at any chain or corporate company – like not going to chain grocery stores and only buying from local cooperatives or farmers – then I would think differently. But where does the argument stop? What grocery stores do people go to? What clothing stores? Electronics? Video rental? Book stores? I really only know of 2 or 3 people that truly buy only from independent businesses. Most people are hypocrites in this regard – including me. I hate to admit it, but I’m a well-meshed cog in capital consumerism. I do, however, refuse to buy at certain chains, such as Wal-Mart, because of the way they treat employees and the low-cost products they offer making it impossible for local businesses to compete (the low-paid factory workers from other countries that make the products is a whole other part of this pie). I also refuse to eat at the Cracker Barrel restaurants because of the company’s ill treatment towards gays and lesbians.

So, am I happy about Starbucks being here? I don’t really care. If I was faced with having to make a choice between gas station coffee and Starbucks – I would go to Starbucks. I hate the McDonaldization of America just as much as anyone else, but I don’t see a stop to it in the near future. The U.S. is strip mall city – and it’s not just America anymore. How do we make a change? A non-violent revolution would be a good start, I just don't think I have the energy for it. Personally, I buy Starbucks coffee for home use because I do like the coffee and I don’t like the crappy grinders the local coffee places have and I don’t like grinding my own coffee. I go to our local drive through coffee place for the times I’m on the run, and I go to our other local sit-down coffee places when I’m in the mood for just hanging out, listening to some music or working. So, I guess I support all the coffee places in town. Fickle? I suppose I am. We all pick and choose our battles, and protesting Starbucks is not a battle I’m willing to take on unless they start venturing into practices I think are blatantly wrong.

Comments are welcome.