Ken loved buttocks

In the latest issue of Vanity Fair (April 2006), there is a great original copy of evil note exchanges between the late British theater critic, Kenneth Tynan (KT), and his wife, Kathleen (K). It goes something like this (and, yes, these were typed notes):

List of things about KT currently disapproved of by K:

- Physical laziness
- Sexual remissness
- Eating habits
- Drinking habits
- Bathing habits
- Conversational egotism
- Interest in cricket
- Sloppy thinking
- Inability to dance
- Weakness of memory

List of things about K disapproved of by KT:

- Can’t spell
- Bad at games like all girls
- Bad at organization like all girls
- Bad at languages
- Talks to other men too long
- Is too polite
- Likes tasteless food

This is completely hilarious. I wonder if I should type a note to the German with a list of things I disapprove of. Actually, it wouldn’t be too hard. I think it would go something like this:

List of things about the German currently disapproved of by Dr. BF:

- Serial killer van, old cars and boats sitting in driveway as storage units
- Doesn’t use napkins as frequently as he should
- Likes Dinty Moore beef stew
- Still has ill-fitting girly like orange shorts in closet
- Too concerned with function over fashion
- Likes the smell of rubbing alcohol

I’m pretty sure his disapproval list about me would look something like this:

List of things about Dr. BF currently disapproved of by Das Deutsche:

- Napkin Nazi
- Spends too much money on dishes and then doesn’t like them
- Wastes water, food, and is energy inefficient
- Talks too much when I’m trying to sleep
- Pretends she knows how to speak German
- Asks me three times a day if I have any gossip
- Does not like the smell of rubbing alcohol