To Do

1. Shoot self if server is hacked again by Korean Gamers
2. Prepare for a brazillion library instruction sessions over next 28 days
3. See if broken capillaries can be zapped by using the German’s bacteria electrocution kit
4. Figure out how to load those frickin’ images on D2L!
5. Throw out black t-shirt worn today that is shredding before my eyes
6. Figure out how to submerge body into a vat of Vaseline during dry winter months
7. Investigate “Stuff” magazine to determine why their cover girl can kick my cover girl’s ass
8. Reorganize office drawers and throw out old crackers
9. Get excited about 19th century Chinese locking cabinet (in Chicago) that L got me as a gift
10. Feel happy that my weekly drink outings have cured me of colds this year
11. Try to understand why D likes to spontaneously flash his ass
12. Work on porn poetry/gonzo script using technology terms
13. Prepare for Madison conference without hyperventilating
14. Make sure there is plenty of booze at the Librarian conference
15. Start a www.rateyourlibrarian.com web site
16. Figure out how to stop the comforter from sliding off the bed every night
17. Read more about why Lance broke up with Sheryl
18. Write book review (and read book first)
19. Try to pepper current uninteresting vocabulary with catchy Russian phrases to impress people
20. Be conscious of appropriate nodding with wrinkled brow when people are discussing serious issues so I look absorbed and interested