Ask Dr. Bibfash

Well, thanks to R and her clever ideas, I am starting an advice column. I searched the web for about 5 minutes and realized that most advice columns are written by “doctors,” hence Dr. Bibfash. It’s more professional sounding.

While my advice column will lean toward fashionably disinclined librarians, I may just venture into the world of dating, acne, marriage, neighbors, porn, bad musicals, pets and more.

Here’s the format: You can post your question(s) to me in the comments section, and I will try to respond within 1-35 days (depends on how busy I am, even though fancy pants “other N” thinks I have nothing better to do than write this frickin’ blog!).

My fashionable friend M sent me a query today about her latest fashion crisis – and it’s a doozy.
Having spent most of her life living an international cosmopolitan lifestyle, she has recently moved to the largest pork producing state in the Midwest - and she’s suffering from the effects of local environmental fashion apparel. As she puts it, “a veritable crime spree of incompatible fabrics, Iowa-appropriate ‘ensembles’ – you name it.” Intimately familiar with this syndrome when I moved to Central Wisconsin from Chicago, I call it the “garanimal factor.” Inundated with mix-and-match separates, this syndrome can really take a toll on your psyche and your wardrobe! The worst is when someone thinks you’re local. M has made a mental note of what she’s wearing every time someone asks "Are you originally from Iowa?" and earmarks the offending items for imminent Goodwill drop-off. There is only one cure for this problem: buy every damn high-fashion magazine you have access to and take careful note of designer profiles, the fashion scoop and scene, and mimic what you can while incorporating your own hip style. Don’t let those jumpers get the best of you. Good luck, M.