Mochtest etwas Wagner mit deinem kaffee?

God, I love repressed memory therapy! I just remembered that my friend D (aka Johnny Depth) and I used to play the characters “Baron and Baronin von Frothenheimer” for the improvisational mime skits at Starbucks. Well, okay, it wasn’t all mime. We’d also ask customers stuff like “Mochtest du einen kaffee, du dickes schwein?” in this Nazi-esque “espresso” quality voice (use your imagination). We only used the whipped cream as a prop after 9:00 at night (past the family hour). E and K, who also worked there, were both corps singers in the Lyric Opera. Sometimes we would all just break out into one big ugly Wagner Ring Cycle chorus. Nothing like loud, dark and heavy German opera while you’re drinking your latte. Good times, I tell you. Good times.

My friend N, (another former Starbuckian) used to eat these “dirt rolls” that they passed off as “good for you” rolls. She was always rearranging the bakery case. Very anal retentive. She went off to the CIA in Hyde Park and is now a very famous baker in Chicago. Trying to contact her is like trying to get ahold of someone at the other CIA. She promised me long ago that she would name a roll, muffin or something after me, but she never did. I’m still waiting. I wonder if she makes her own version of the dirt roll?

JD told me there is a female casting call for some web porn. Here’s the lowdown:

Qualifications:
- No stretch marks
- No tracks on arms
- No one over 250 lbs.

Responsibilities:
- Fetish scenes like blowjobs or hand jobs
- Straight boy girl scenes or girl/girl scenes, and some masturbation scenes.
- Nothing too deviant though like pissing or extreme pain or anything like that.

Pays $300 per scene. Good for some xxx-tra Christmas cash!