Come walk with me pretty unicorn

I just read some of the worst poetry ever from my eighth grade yearbook called the "Haven Scroll" (hence the above title).

I’ve had some tough(er) questions this week at reference:

- The history of good luck charms
- Historical ranges of mammals (specifically black bears and gray wolves)
- What tax concessions (if any) do Fortune 500 companies get for charity donations
- Correlation between diet and gestational diabetes
- Identifying one of the plaintiffs from the Denny’s discrimination case in 1993

Certainly more fun than the typical printer, stapler or computer problem, or the irritating questions from the perv that occasionally asks if we have any books on “men who love women too much.” Whatever!

Buttcracks and oozing bellies are still the fashion rage on campus.

The word on the street is that “metrosexual” is no longer the buzz. The new term is “ubersexual.” I’m not quite sure what’s behind this meaning. I actually think “uber” has become passe. However, I may just plug it in front of everything so I can be ubercool and uberhip, too.

A former colleague of mine in Chicago is opening up a lifestyle store for men. Yes, I asked myself the same thing. Uberwhat? Sounds like “ubersexual” would probably work well in this case for some direct marketing kits. Supposedly it’s the retail version of Cargo magazine. The plan is to sell stuff like portable bar sets in tiny attaché cases and motorized nose hair trimmers.

The German just emailed to tell me he leafed through some 1,500 pages of a bound German weekly newspaper (the entire first half of 1900) without finding a single reference to an artist he’s been researching. He said it was loads of fun. He’s uberloco (that’s a catchy term. I'll probably use this again. I recently invented another catchy term - bummerlicious).