Vegetables are people too

My friend D sent me a good Halloween joke:

“I like my women like my coffee: ground and in the freezer”

You can share this with your friends if you wish.

I went to a fun costume party on Saturday. The hosts dressed up as "Pootie Tang" and "Bootylicious" warriors. They didn't really, but that's what the names sounded like to me. I don’t even remember the last time I was at a costume party. I went as Mary Tyler Moore, but in reality it turned into Slutty Tyler Moore. I just couldn’t quite get the Office Mary look down. That backcombing of the hair is quite a bitch, and I think this is where the downfall started. Here’s another little tip: costume parties are great for people who can’t remember names. You can honestly look at a dressed up person and say, “So, who’s behind that mask?” This was also my first party where there was a keg. I’m just as surprised as you are by this news. You’d think in my forty plus years that some keg would have come my way.

My poor friend A (who is having her book published in spring and I’m way excited) told me she got her photos back for the book cover and was horrified at how ugly she is. Here’s a little sample of her feelings:

- “my skin looks like the underneath side of carpeting”
- “Why is everything, ultimately, a humiliation?”
- “I am dying, dying of shame and disgust”

So, I thought I would cheer her up with one of my favorite Woody Allen quotes:

“We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice.”

This works like a charm for those suffering from the darkest moments of depression.

Here’s a site you should check out for cool t-shirts with goofy sayings:
http://www.cottonfactory.com

I particularly like the one that says “Vegetables are people too” and “You can’t hug kids with nuclear arms.” Enjoy!