The Buttfucked World of Advertising

Developmentally Challenged Observation
I’m still talking like I’m challenged, and I must say that people at the reference desk were much nicer to me today. Pretty interesting. I may have to whip out that lispy/drooly voice when I want people to treat me with kindness.

My New Administrator Role
Interestingly, in my new WS role, I’ve done lots of signing of various documents. I’m starting to wonder if this is a big part of administration – your signature. Why don’t they include that when they run ads? “Successful candidate must be able to provide signature in support of confidential and complex administrative documents.” That’s really what it should say. They don’t seem to emphasize the signature enough.

My Movie Career
OMG! I totally found out what my role will be in this local movie I’m gonna be in. I can’t really give the plot away, but I’ll give you snippets of the setting, which include a Wal-Mart parking lot, a recreational vehicle (RV), transients (maybe even transsexuals!), cheap booze and thrift shop clothes. I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!!

The Buttfucked World of Advertising
I’m thinking about taking an ad out on those shopping cart baskets. My friend’s husband who works in the insurance industry (isn’t that dreadful enough?) has an ad on what seems to be every shopping cart, and I find it distracting. It’s hard to shop when this guy I know is just staring at me. I wonder how much it costs? For some reason I think it would be super funny for me to take out one of those ads, like with one of my drunken disco pictures, and have the copy read “Don’t drink and read! You could look like this!!” or something of that flavor. I’m gonna look into that. It’s a BITCHIN’ idea!

Speaking of ads, I will list the WORST local TV commercials that make me crazy:

1) Papillion’s Pizza – Nasty looking food, drinks that are blue, families that all looked like they slept with each other, horrible jingle, annoying voices, etc. Yuck!
2) Redfield Law Offices – Jesus. I think I’ve seen this guy on the street a couple of times. Granted I don’t know him, but he looks like a total sleeze. Man alive!
3) Any bank or credit union commercial – Actually, this is an industry I simply don’t understand at all. For such a small town, we have at least 2 or 3 banks or credit unions on every corner. What’s up with that? Isn’t everything in banking automated these days? Do we need 3 banks in one block? Aside from that, these commercials inevitably have some poor sappy spokesperson who talks like they’re in a complete zombie state, but my favorite is when the camera scans into each cube showing all the “happy” employees with their atrocious hairdos, bad glasses, stiff and unnatural posture, Fleet Farm “business casual” wear, and plastered fake cheese smiles just dying to help YOU OUR TREASURED CUSTOMER!!!!!!!!!! Man alive! Someone needs to hire a stylist and a director. I have a feeling they get most of their “air talent” from Rapids. Man alive again!!!

Questions:

1) Who thinks I should go for the shopping cart ad?

2) What local ads make you buggy?

3) Who thinks Sam Lutfi drugged Spears?