Dear Santa
What do I want for Christmas this year?? World peace and respect for all humanity.
Ha! Here’s what I really want:
1) Sweet Cookie Doll
2) Make and Show Slides
3) Crazy Foam
4) Operation
5) Snap …
Wait a second!! That’s my list from ’73. Okay, here’s what I want THIS YEAR:
1) A Gas Mart plastic mug from Fleet Farm that says “Gas Mart” on it (it’s free if you fill up and buy a 12 oz coffee).
2) A hot dog roller ballpark machine from the Heartland catalog - $29.99. Also warms up “your buns.”
3) That gum that Elise told me about in ballet class last week. All the kids are chewing it these days (forgot the name).
4) That Angie Dickinson (“Pepper”) doll I saw on EBay - circa 1976 from the Academy Awards. Super sexy slutty dress. Nice addition to kitschy doll collection (she dated Johnny Carson for awhile; I bet you didn’t know that).
5) A frickin’ published “Granny Has Curls” piece somewhere – anywhere. (please). What happened Banyan Review people??????????? Where are you????????????
6) U.S. citizenship for mumsy, who was told by INS and Homeland Security that she's not a citizen, so no passport :-(
7) A stapler that actually WORKS when I hold it, have it on the desk, or in any stapler ready direction. I’m so tired of idiotic staplers at home, work, everywhere. Man alive! Plus, I bet I witness more people stapling every day at the reference desk than most of the world put together. (this gift was just given to me!!! I'm super excited, and I can't wait until I have to staple stuff again!!!!! Thanks, AS!!!!)
8) More blog comments
9) A 5.5 oval camouflage crock pot from Fleet Farm (on sale right now for $28.99. Includes travel case).
10) A gift certificate for “Gas Mart” to take advantage of their Daily Rollergrill $1.99 Specials: 2 corndogs & a 16 oz soda (Mondays), 2 tornados & a 16 oz soda (Tuesdays), 2 cheddarwurst & a 16 oz soda (Wednesdays), 2 egg rolls & a 16 oz soda (Thursdays), 2 bratwursts and a 16 oz soda (Fridays).
11) 2 Live Crew, As Nasty As They Wanna Be, CD (with hit title, "Me So Horny").
12) Crazy foam (that stuff was fun back then and it’s still fun today!!!)
posted by BibFash at 8:00 PM
5 Comments:
Item 11 on your list should read:
11. Over-the-counter antacids to help recover from item 10. Tums are the gift that keeps on giving.
-N
12/10/2007
There, I think I'm fulfilling wish number 8! -N
12/10/2007
Wow... I totally missed the camo crock pot in the sales flyer. I'm surprised I don't already have that. Seems like that would be more appropriate for my "critters".
hee hee hee.
12/10/2007
the least i can do, having read your xmas list, is to spread good cheer by granting you "more blog comments". but in return I get to express a little concern over your interest in convenience store food. that's just not good eats.
12/13/2007
Cool! Blog comments, and a newcomer, SnappyMack, another librarian. Thank you SnappyMack for the comment, but I have to tell you that there is some sick appeal to gas station food sometimes. I mean it’s desperate measures, but I love the idea of cooking food on curling iron like devices. I don’t think you can go wrong. Plus you just need to pop a few Pepto pink pills before you dive in and you’re good to go (literally).
12/17/2007
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