Colossal onions of excellence!!

UPDATES posted Friday night 9/14 at 8:02 p.m. (see below and under "scary fashion trends"
Aside from the new Chili's in town, the "Blue Top" restaurant reopened. Here are some highlights from the local newspaper:

• The new "Cabana Bar and Sports Lounge" section of the restaurant has been renovated as an "upscale tiki bar done in rain forest bamboo" featuring eight large flat-screen TVs (we don't have enough of those in the local bars)
• "The sports bar will have NFL Ticket so people can watch a full slate of professional football games on Sunday." (yeah, we NEED MORE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially 8 games showing at once).
• The bar will also feature an Internet jukebox "...that will stay current with the latest trends in music," and an ATM and gaming machines.
• The "fine dining" facility has been "...renovated in a Las Vegas lounge-type style. It includes Rat Pack icons like Frank Sinatra on the windows. We might call the fine dining facililty the 'Sinatra Room,' said the new owner. "
• The menu will include "Frank Sinatra's Veal Cutlets Milanese (supposedly a favorite of Sinatra's according to the new owner). The menu will also feature "famous broasted chicken and ocean cod fish fries (Fridays only)."

Man, I can't WAIT to check this place out!!!!!!!!! Who's game????

Chili’s comes to town!!
We just got a “new” Chili’s in town. The people in Chicago are cracking up over it ‘cause like Chili’s has been around since the 80s (possibly even the 70s). It is the home, as we all know, of the awesome “AWESOME BLOSSOM® - We bring together our hand-battered and seasoned, fried colossal onion and our famous seasoned sauce for an awesome treat! $7.49.” And it’s even a registered trademark! Chili’s is also home to the El Nino Caribbean rum punch spectacular drink and the new “Crispy Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers.” That’s a mouthful! Interestingly, all the photos in their corporate menu binder look like porn shots. Every food and drink item is splashing, spilling, or dripping into someone’s mouth. Pretty kinky if you ask me. The binder menu also weighs about 40 pounds.

Annoying administrator speak: Part II
EXCELLENCE: student excellence, teaching excellence, the center for excellence, staff excellence, prize for excellence, supporting excellence… Blah!!! Boo to excellence!!! Watered down mushy icky meaningless yucko word that is WAY overused in higher education. If everyone in the world would strive for excellence, no one would ever be happy because it’s impossible to achieve – ‘cause like most of us are not above average given the very nature of the term. Whatever. Blah again!!!! I say no to excellence.

Scary fashion trends
Thanks to Notorious Lors for sending me these freak shots (and her commentary)...

What the heck is this??????
Or this???????
Check out the anorexic stylist to the stars

Chloe fucking Seviche whatever. This woman is considered a "fashion icon" and she always looks like shit. Like this....

Soccer mom from Berwyn posing as Debbie Harry

Updates:
Pooch pops out 8 pups (D & O/Ns doggy)
Chance may have liver hepatitis, liver cancer, or liver nodules (sad face)
Circulation candy dish has not been updated with new candy since LAST SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!! Even after its brand new location.
My mother made pickles
My parents lost weight (20 pounds for dad, 14 for mom)
Our house is being tuck pointed – MESSY
New fashion trend among the kids today - tube tops (no more muffin tops or crack asses)
I’m going to Chicago soon!!!!!!!!!
I’m craving a bloody mary
I’m getting my period
People are too busy
Work is annoyingly busy
People are annoying