Wolcott is da bomb!

Man, I’m sick with a stupid cold and it takes like four times as long to do simple tasks. I hate that. I’m also semi-delirious, but most people don’t notice because they think I’m like this all the time.

Man, I can’t believe how much the drooler still fucking annoys the crap out of me. First of all, aside from his grody bodily noises and same outfit everyday for the last 6 years, he has this propensity for striking up conversations with other “community users” (the term user in library land is vastly different from the term user in skanky street-drug land). He’s loud and asks the most asinine things, and then the other “riveting” community users just fall right into his path of conversational despair. It’s horrifyingly annoying, and there’s not a fucking thing we can do about it because stupid libraries are “there for the people to do whatever the hell they want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Man alive. Seinfeld had it right - Government's pathetic friend.

Man, I heard the greatest line in the reference room the other day. Some chic got mad at what looked like to be her boyfriend and told him to “Go Google Yourself!!!” I love it.

Man, today I wore a dress to work. It looked hideous. It’s because I can’t wear dresses – period- ever. Wretchedly bad. I have the body of a table and tables don’t look good in dresses. Note to self. The German even said to me, “you look like a librarian today.” Can you think of anything more awful to say to someone?

Man, I heard these chicks in the reference room the other night rating their blow job abilities. What the fuck? First of all, I was quite surprised at how “skillful” they all thought they were. Then they were rating themselves on a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the highest). Seriously, not one of them rated themselves lower than an 8.5. Wow. What confidence. I guess that’s a good thing. I’d give myself a 2.5 and that’s on a good day!

Man, I miss Jews. I know that sounds like a crazy thing to say, but I've watched like 17 episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and I realized how much I miss them just being around. There are no Jews in this town (maybe one or two). No good delis, no good bagels, no good humor. Sucks (yes, I know I just stereotyped).

Man, I’m still digging that Prada shirred gray and olive green skirt with the knee-high stirrup red socks and variegated platform peek-a-boo heels. This would cost me at least one month’s salary. Damn it.

Man, I was going to have a contest about something, but now I don’t remember what for. Someone help me out. Fred?

Man, I can't believe how much I love...