Snow mice and cellophane

- Don’t be stupid and go Christmas and grocery shopping when there is a blizzard.
- Don’t assume the wrapping paper you thought was silver actually is silver and not the deceiving “clear cellophane wrap.” This doesn’t work well for presents (as I’ve just discovered).
- Don’t think you won’t run into people you know at the stores just because there is a blizzard. You will.
- Don’t think one sausage is enough for snacks. You need two.
- Don’t try to be cool and keep your pants zipped when you really want to unzip them to let the uncomfortable cookie and sausage overeating ooze out.
- Don’t assume you have the right number of gifts for people. Double check, and then feel shleppy the night before Christmas Eve when you realize you still need to go out in the morning to pick up a couple of things.
- Don’t think you won’t see a mouse trying to cross four lanes of traffic during a blizzard. And, yes, it managed to get to the other side.
- Don’t think your blog won't end up on a Chinese cock ring site because it will.
- Don’t think a funny looking snowsuit is a fashion faux pas in a blizzard 'cause it ain't!