My new eco-friendly ways

Many of you know that one of my resolutions this year is to be more eco-friendly - at least to be more conscientious of the choices I make in my buying and/or general life habits or ways. I know. This is a weird-ass resolution coming from a city girl who is far more familiar with unnatural resources over natural ones, but people change (that’s what Dr. Phil says).

To help you become a more eco-conscience consumer, I have put together a list of things you should consider:

1) Bring your own bags to the store!! They charge 25 cents per bag in Europe. Remember to leave the bags by your door so when you've unloaded your shit, the bags are in a place where you won't forget on your next shopping trip.
2) Change your bulbs to the CFLs. Yes, they take longer to come on, but you get used to it.
3) Share your toothbrush. You don’t need your own toothbrush! You can share it with at least one person in your household – if not two!
4) Purchase cleaning products that aren’t riddled with nasty chemicals! Or make your own!!! Vinegar and water, or coke and water, or cocaine and water - depends on what you have on hand.
5) Don’t use pump hand soaps in plastic dispensers and consistently buy new dispensers like I used to do! At least buy refillable soap, get a recycled glass dispenser, or use bar soap! Remember that stuff? Then when the soap gets down to a nub, you can put it in a big jar and then add water and collect them. Fred’s mom used to do this, but he wasn’t sure what happened to them when the jar was full, so use your imagination!
6) Do you really use every square of toilet paper when you wipe yourself? I bet you don’t. There’s no reason, especially for #1 jobs or clean #2 jobs, to not leave the clean spots for the next user. Just put the semi-used paper in a recycled box next to the toilet for the next person.
7) Packaging. Do you ever really notice or pay attention to all the fucking plastic shit that stuff is packaged in? Criminy. What a god damn waste. I know this all started when people started tampering with shit, but that only happens once in a while, and only a few people perish. Live dangerously and plastic free!
8) Paper products. I am a paper whore. Anyone who knows me will attest to this. My biggest abuse? Paper napkins – they even surpass Kleenex, which is hard for some of you to believe. So, what did I do? Switched to cloth napkins. Frankly, I found those cumbersome and too big. I then switched to wash cloths. They are smaller and don’t collect as much dust and dog hair. We use one for a few days and then it’s off to the energy efficient washing machine. You should try it! It’s cool to use a washcloth for a napkin, plus it doesn’t have the same guilt factor as staining and fucking up a cloth napkin.
9) Speaking of washing, how often do you wash your jeans or shirts? Every day? Well, stop now!!! Things that require washing every day are underwear and socks, and even those can be turned inside out.
10) Surge protectors. They now have something called a Smart Strip which cuts down on energy usage moreso than surge protectors, so check it out!
11) Tampons. I know a lot of women use those fucked up OB tampons, and for the eco-friendly girl, that’s a good thing. I hate those suckers, and if you’re a bleeder and clotter, like I am, you don’t want to stick your fingers up some haunted pussy tunnel. So for the bleeders and clotters, at least use those biodegradable cardboard applicators. The new Tampax tampons also have this little indentation for your fingers so the applicator doesn’t slip if you’ve just used hand lotion.
12) Rubbers can also be reused. For those of you having mucho sex and are still using that latex shit (GET SNIPPED is my advice), there’s no reason you can’t wash that cum sucker out and reuse it! I know it gets messy, but so do latex gloves, rubber fingers and phyllo dough. You get used to it.