Shotgun Semester

This semester is more like a shotgun semester. There was no easing back into things, it was just like shit bang! I’m already tired, and it’s only the start of week two. Maybe I’m just funktafied. I thought for sure funktafied would be listed in urbandictionary.com, but no. So, this is my chance to come up with a definition for the kids. I’ll have to cogitate on that for awhile. There is, however, a new definition for Pluto (RIP):

“To pluto someone or something is to downgrade, demote or remove altogether from a prestigious group or list, like what was done to the planet of the same name.”

“He was plutoed like an old pair of shoes!”
Source: urbandictionary.com

Maybe corporations can implement this buzz word into their rhetoric and get rid of terminology like “reorganization, “downsizing,” or the latest stupid one “rightsizing” (or the ghetto version “kissmycrackassmothafuckaisizing”). Now it can be, “…due to recent market forces, special items, and looking into the future, plutoization is really the only remedy to reinvent ourselves and regain a position in the market once again.”

Speaking of downsizing, it looks like the donut nazis are considering eliminating the donut/roll Tuesday purchases. It's complete anarchy! I guess the new library cafe now offers long johns, jumbo cinnamon rolls, big muffins, giant turd like brownies decorated with M&Ms, and more, so there is controversy whether to continue the purchasing of said donut/rolls with the plethora of dough goop now available in the cafe. So far, the votes are:

1-yes (continue to get rolls on Tuesdays as a group)
3-no (don’t get rolls)
2-abstain [neither eat rolls]
1-no preference

but there are five people yet to have cast their vote. So, we wait in agony at the fate of the donut club.

I had my writing group yesterday and it was super good. I gained great insight after I brought an edited version of “The Gimpy Bunny” story and was told that there is no “me” in my stories. I guess my writing is more “reporter” style and lacks the inner dialog or self reflection. This is good to know, but I don’t know how to find the “inner writing me.” Any suggestions? More drinking? Sue "J-school" for stealing my soul with its over-emphasis on “objective” reporting and WWWWW?